Dealing with dissapointments

 

Dealing with disappointment is hard for anyone but for the invisible illness crew, it's more complicated than you think. Disappointments happen every day, Some are big and some are small but they are not all created equal.

Some disappointments are easy to let go of like missing out on a big sale or having the person in front of you get the last item you were looking forward to. Then some disappointments hit you where it hurts. These are harder to get over or manage because of their personal nature like loosing a loved one or losing an ability. 

Most people don't realize how disappointed and hurt we feel being betrayed by our bodies. You have one job body.... do your frikkin job and function already!

I hate going to bed at night not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Most people take for granted waking up in the morning feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. We often feel stiff and sore, and most nights sleep does not come easy. Between the leg cramps and pain when moving wrong, there are so many sleep disturbances that you often don't even feel like you've rested. Then you're starting your day half empty or less instead of full. You also know there is no way you're going to get all the items on your to-do list done which is also disappointing. One disappointment after another, day in and day out is exhausting!

Then the icing on the cake is the disappointment of others. They have ideas in their heads about what you should and shouldn't be able to do. Unfortunately, most people have absolutely no problem telling you all about it. You bend over backward to try to meet their expectations no matter what it does to you.  Often putting your own health needs on the back burner causing more problems in the long run. They don't see your struggle, they don't feel your pain or experience your tiredness.

Chronic illness warriors are the Strongest, Bravest,

                             and the most Resilient people 

                                                      I have ever met!!!

                 READ THAT AGAIN!!!!!

We are often looked down upon like we are lazy, or just don't want to do anything. When in reality we are people who want to do a lot of things trapped in a body that cant keep up. Most people can't wrap their heads around what we deal with daily and because most people can't fathom our lives they don't believe what we go through is real, or they believe it's real but "is it really THAT bad?"

Let's go on a little journey together...

I want you to think of the worst flu you have ever had. The head-to-toe body aches, getting freezing cold to be burning up seconds later. Nausea that makes moving seem way harder than it should be. Your head thumping and pounding with any noise or vibration. The sheer exhaustion you feel just walking the 10 steps it takes to get to your washroom feeling like you're going to pass out lying on the floor next to the toilet sure you're going to throw up at any moment, then losing the contents of your stomach, telling yourself you will never eat what you just saw come up again. 

I want you to really think about how you felt at that moment. 

What words would you use to describe how you felt?

Sick, Miserable, disgusting, weak, tired, rundown  ..... Like death warmed over...

Now think about all the things you need to accomplish..... what's getting done? 

For most people, I know this calls for a sick day or several depending on how fast you recover. 

Now imagine this feeling never really going away. Constant body aches and pains in various places, knowing you didn't DO anything to merit this much suffering, yet you suffer.....You have to eat knowing it may not stay down no matter how good your food choices are. You have to get through the day no matter how bad your head feels because headaches are a daily issue now. You wake up tired but start going through the motions because what else can you do.

Now you remember other people are counting on you. If someone else has to do what you can't you are a burden to them, If you can't go hang out you're a party pooper or aren't trying to build relationships or Cutting yourself off from the world..... at least that is what other people think about you. 

You can't really talk about what you're going through because the average person cannot fathom what you deal with EVERY SINGLE DAY! It is Lonely and disappointing. It causes mental anguish because everything else you deal with isn't enough........

That is the life of a Chronic illness warrior and the battle is HARD! But it could be easier!

How you ask? 

If you are the Warrior, Be patient and kind to yourself because you know what you're dealing with. When the haters hate do your best to let it roll off. I know how hard that is but YOU are a WARRIOR fighting one of the toughest battles out there. Talk to yourself like you would a friend. Take the time you need, get done what you can, and forgive yourself for the rest. Tomorrow is a new day! Then take it one day at a time. Leave yesterday's problems in the past and tomorrow's problems for tomorrow and do the best you can to get through the day.

If you know a warrior, you can help!  Love us, support us, and help make things easier for us. No expectations! Don't ask us to make decisions if we're having a hard day. It may seem easy to you but it's not for us. Help them feel seen by really listening to their words. Then try to understand, even if it's hard. Don't question them or try to make light of things because chronic illness is hard and it sucks and we are far too often brushed off. We are the best actors at hiding how we really feel. Do your best to include us in what you are doing, and if we say no or cancel last minute be kind and understanding and continue to ask. We don't want to let you down or be a burden but we want to be included even if we can't join in being asked is so nice. It's nice to be seen even if it can only happen on special occasions.

Which Side of the fence are you on?  What are your next steps? What can you do to be kind to yourself or a chronic illness warrior that is in your life? We'd love to hear from you on our Facebook page.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088374585797&mibextid=ZbWKwL

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